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Monster

from Messages by Titanosaur

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about

Super personal one. So, part of the autism is a propensity towards depression.
Somewhat due to thinking that I'm doing things wrong because everyone else is doing them differently. Another part is meltdowns - I've always had them, but they were explained away as something else - I have violent meltdowns. I have no control over them. It's a strange need inside my muscles to break something.... and yes, I have broken stuff over the years.

Meltdowns are generally brought on by an outside stimulus, So, they don't just suddenly happen. It's a build up of frustration, of not being able to express myself, of losing words.

So... I keep repeating that I did it all wrong...

lyrics

Patterns repeating in my mind
Patterns repeating in the skies
My mask is down
My emotions fly
My brain is broken
I don't ask why
I want to be flying
Straight through the wall
Crashing through the wall

Am I the monster You created

I keep repeating the sounds around me
(I did it all wrong)
I keep repeating the thoughts that thrill me
I keep repeating the sounds around me
(I did it all wrong)
I keep repeating
Repeating
I did it all wrong

A new vision for my world
I drop the pretense
And become all tense
Forgetting how to move
Forgetting how to listen
I'm erasing the pictures heading for collision

Am I the monster You created

I keep repeating the sounds around me
(I did it all wrong)
I keep repeating the thoughts that thrill me
I keep repeating the sounds around me
(I did it all wrong)
I keep repeating
Repeating
I did it all wrong

Atonal chromatic
Systematic
Problems all solved
Atonal chromatic
Systematic
Thoughts unresolved

Patterns repeating in my mind
Patterns repeating in the skies
My mask is down
My emotions fly

Am I the monster You created

I keep repeating the sounds around me
(I did it all wrong)
I keep repeating the thoughts that thrill me
I keep repeating the sounds around me
(I did it all wrong)
I keep repeating
I did it all wrong
Repeating
I did it all wrong
I did it all wrong
I did it all wrong
I keep repeating
Repeating
All wrong
I keep repeating
I did it all wrong

credits

from Messages, released December 4, 2020

license

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Titanosaur Hudson, New York

NY Hard Rock/Metal. A dash of Monster Magnet, pinch of Red Fang, large dose of Motorhead and some Ramones for good taste all poured over a bed of Black Sabbath!

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